Anniversaries are supposed to be a date to celebrate. Today is an anniversary I struggle to even want to acknowledge. I still fight back dark emotions and reactions of what this “anniversary” reflects. Honestly I still take active measures to count the blessings not the burdens at times while we continue to move past all the truth that came out 2 years ago.
We hover around the 2nd anniversary of when I found out all that had been happening, all my husbands selfish and (pardon my french) crappy choices. The tornado crashed through my heart, my soul, my safest place on earth—my marriage. Even 2 years later there are reminders.
But as through any other time in this journey of recovery, I refuse to let the dark win. I will count the blessings of today and the past 730 days where we chose to honor what God has given us, rebuild, regain, and remain.
Neither one of us can change what happened. The past is just that, the past. What’s done was done. What I can control from here on out is today and the me that faces today. The moment I am living right now is mine for the taking.
At some point I need to stop letting things revolve around one traumatic event in my life but be filled with all the good and blessings and love and positives.
Because the reality of today is, I have survived, I have survived something horrific. Truly I have not just survived but I have thrived. I am stronger. I am more aware of God’s grace and mercies. I am more grateful for little things. I have grown in my self awareness and my self worth. Moving past this, working through this, has made me, a better me. I have a right and the responsibility to myself to own that in a positive way. The test I was thrown into is part of my testimony. God never promised life would be easy or without trials or troubles.
My marriage is gaining strength each day too. We still have issues. We still have pains and hurts. But I don’t want to live dreading what has ultimately given us the platform to make our marriage stronger and healthier.
SO today as I reflect on the reality that this is and always will be an anniversary I’ve decided to make another purposeful choice.
Behind my choice to face today is an attitude adjustment!