The simple two word sentence, “thank you”. It’s one of the first things we learn to say as a child. It shows gratitude. It shows appreciation. It shows respect. It shows humility. We hear it a lot. We say it flippantly throughout the day, as we check out in line at a store or someone holds a door open for us. I find myself thanking friends and family for things all the time. We all say the words so often. While it strings together in such simplicity it can also wield a power I never gave credit until recently.
Tonight the words took on the quality to heal. These past few years have been rough. Especially the last 18 months or so. Rebuilding a marriage after infidelity is not for the faint at heart or the weak in grace or mercy. But tonight as my husband and I went about the daily grind I was given the gift of that simple yet profound sentence.
It was not the easiest of days today. Our patience and faith based living was tested. We faced a difficult and heart wrenching result with my husband’s business. Those details aren’t important to my point…so I’ll skip ahead. What does pertain to this post were the priority of his feelings and emotions (I had my own trust me, but mine had to take a back seat for a bit) to care for his. It was a moment, if you will, to give unselfishly and help him through the pain and anger. When it comes down to facing this life, he and I are a team. You hurt one, you hurt us both. I am grateful that we have that level of commitment, well let’s be honest, that we have rebuilt that level of commitment in our relationship over the past 18 months or so.
I will say, being that selfless when it came to helping him through his explanations and the pain he felt as a result of his infidelity was not as simple as today was. Learning how to be that present and vulnerable again has been a journey not without failure and determination to work at it. But a crucial element I feel on being able to move forward. Being that present comes with a sense and a need for gratitude, one we both have made. A purposeful choice to do the work. Which brings me to this evening and how a simple thank you offered more healing.
At one point tonight we both were sitting in our home office, opposite sides of the room, noses buried deep in our computers. The room was silent minus the typing and clicking away on our keyboards, and the winter moans and groans of our home. He broke the silence,
“Can I just say thank you to you?”
“You are welcome?” I said with a timid giggle of uncertainty and a question in my tone as to what prompted the remark. “for?”
“For loving me, supporting me, being here for me even when I might not and have not deserved it. Just thank you.”
He didn’t even turn away from his computer, and as quickly as he said it he was back to typing and completing his to-do list.
A simple sentence, but one that I let settle into the depths of my heart. With silent prayer I glorified that moment and thanked (there’s that word again) God for giving it to me. A moment and the gift of that thank you so precious to me. The power of that thank you was almost overwhelming, and he probably has no idea just how amazing it was to hear. It made me realize the power of a sincere, heartfelt thank you and how it can change everything. It can heal hurts. It can bridge discord. It can rekindle respect, patience, or compassion for someone. “Thank you” is a response of grace. In a time where life tests someone it can be amazing to get a thank you for just being there.
He gave me a gift tonight that is irreplaceable. More precious than gold. All it took was one moment, actually not even 30 seconds…good grief it may not have even been 15 seconds. But the impact would lead someone to believe it was so much longer!
The power of a thank you. Life altering power. As I sat and thought about how his thank you made me feel and what it meant to me, it made me think, when was the last time I thanked him? When was the last time I offered him a simple thank you for even staying and choosing to work on us? The power of gratitude can move mountains. If offered in sincerity, placed before someone with heartfelt love and respect for the person receiving it, has the strength to break through walls of hurt and resentment.
I was blessed by a thank you tonight. A simple thank you, offered with simple words but the power to move mountains. In a recent message during church the paster offered this statement,
For believers a grateful heart brings you to the feet of Jesus.
My husband’s thank you reminded me that my list of thank yous needs to be greater than all else and that I bring them all to my Jesus.
My list of “thank yous” should be my focus and my foundation to approach everything and anything brought my way. If my heart is in a state of gratitude, troubles will lose their power to steal my joy.
Where is the state of your grateful heart? Even in the midst of trauma and pain reasons to be grateful can be found. It’s comes down to what you want to focus on, what you allow to fill your heart and thoughts. If we chose to only allow the dissatisfaction or the list of negatives take forefront our hearts will follow in kind. My hope and prayer for those read this post, is you will believe the quote above it true. There IS always something to be thankful for. Behind my choice to glorify the thank you is a woman who loves her God and knows that even amongst the worst pain I still journey beyond there are far more reasons to give thanks than not. I pray that along your journey to heal from infidelity that your “thank you” list will grow too.
and hey….thank you, for reading my post.